Reserved Optimism

Talking about my future has been one of the more uncomfortable topics recently.
Mostly because of the unsure nature of it.

But, that is not what this post is about (by the way, it is now allowed to finish your sentences with a preposition :p).

Jenn and I were talking about our future and how lost we are in our post-grad frenzy.
Even though we should be proud of our accomplishments, it is difficult to revel in that when other aspects of our lives are supposedly falling apart. An obvious exaggeration, but to us, it's just all a big shit-fest.

I am no more or less lost than other people of our generation. I have some stuff figured out, yet nothing is really figured out.

During our conversation, we got to the topic of optimism versus pessimism.
We have different views. Jenn is a person of idealism. She likes to dream and hope for the best. Such optimism brings on much pleasure and as much disappointment.
I am, what she calls, a pessimist. Even though I do agree to a certain extent, I must also disagree.
I was thinking more about it after our conversation ended, and I do not think I am a pessimist. If I were a pessimist, I wouldn't be the driven person I am today. I think I would have given up on things a long time ago. I don't expect the worst in things. I just don't expect a lot out of things. I think I am more realistic. Better yet, I think I am a reserved optimist. I approach things cautiously. But, I approach things. I approach things with much thought and enthusiasm. I don't go into things with a negative attitude.

I don't think being free of expectations automatically mean that I am expecting the worst.

I am protecting myself from extreme disappointment; but, at the same time, I am living life.

Strangely, I always just assume that everything will work out in my favor. I know that even if things do not work out in the most ideal way, it will be okay in the end. I would call that optimistic. Wouldn't you?

I am just cautious, and I don't express every single emotion I am feeling. I have always been a reserved person, unless I need to speak up or express. This aspect of my personality is one of my most valued characteristics in myself. It prevents me from hurting my loved ones' feelings. It makes my expressed feelings mean more. It helps me from becoming too overwhelmed by my feelings. It keeps me relatively in control of myself.

I think I will continue to be a reserved optimist.