I think I'm PMSing. lol
I'm feeling all kinds of emotions and can't sleep.
I was sleepy, but I refused to sleep to fulfill some orders for the business. And now I can't sleep.
I want to do all kinds of things.
Fun things, hard things, creative things, fabulous things, grunt things, all kinds of things.
I want to write a song.
I want to paint.
I want to shop 'til drop.
I want to be rich.
I want to travel.
I want to move out and live independently.
I want a fabulous job.
I want to not work.
I don't know what I want.
Every minute, every hour of the day, my thoughts and emotions take multiple rides on this fun rollercoaster of my life.
My life is full of polar opposites.
It's always been like that. But, it just doesn't get much easier, ever.
I love myself. I hate myself.
I appreciate my life. I hate everything my life represents.
I enjoy my friends. I resent them.
I spend money. I should save money.
I buy things. I return things.
I'm freakishly and annoyingly detail-oriented. I am fuckin' lazy.
I love and need my family. I can't deal with them, and they need me.
I want to punch some people in the face. I hate violence.
I can't wait for my next adventures. I just wish I am my "future self" already.
I love how I am still learning and growing into a better/worse person. I am sick of "learning."
I hate dealing with kids. I am a full time tutor.
I am a proud business owner. I don't feel accomplished.
I feel like a mature adult. I am still holding onto my inner kid.
I enjoy being there for people. I am a emotional wreck that needs a guide.
I am confident and don't mind being alone. I crave attention and praises.
I try not to judge. I talk shit and enjoy it.
I am sympathetic and overly empathetic. I am sick of people and their problems, as much as I am interested in them.
Basically, all in all, I am a mess.
But, a pat or ten in the back, because I have grown.
I stand up for myself.
I stand up for my loved ones.
I can speak for myself.
I am better at letting go.
I don't try to guard my feelings so much.
I am happier than I have ever been.
I am learning to be okay with other people's mistakes.
I am learning to take what is rightfully mine, at the same time.
I am less lazy.
I am working out more.
I am nicer to my parents.
I guess, most importantly, I am more responsible.
So far, ever since graduation, my parents and I are learning to adjust.
I am learning to stop fighting their help, but at the same time help them understand that I am growing up and not be a bitch about it all.
They, hopefully, are learning to let me go and let me grow up and fully be the independent and capable person a part of them wished I would be.
Because I understand that I do have so much to appreciate for in my life, I truly am happier.
Even though I won't achieve all the things I want to and meant to achieve until later, I have faith that I will do well. I have faith that I will not let myself fail. Even if I fall, I will always pick myself up, cry a little, but dust off and move forward. I will not be ashamed to ask people for help. I think I was there enough for the people around me to maybe have them stay with me for a while.
I'm good.
Showing posts with label pms. Show all posts
Showing posts with label pms. Show all posts
13.3.13
11.7.12
Random Thoughts: Period
Is it gross to talk about period?
Probably.
But, is it an extremely relevant and ubiquitous part of girl's/women's lives?
Heck yes.
For me, it is the only thing that makes me so angry about being a girl (maybe other than giving birth, but that seems like you at least have the option to refuse).
I may have more things to be angry about, but I can't think of anything right now because I am currently suffering from cramps.
And along with the uncalled-for cramps, period just comes with other fun things.
1. forgetfulness
2. extreme mood swings that can range from jumping up and down in joy to crying my eyes out for no apparently reason to volcano eruption like rage
3. pain. everywhere. mostly in the abdominal areas and back
4. purely uncomfortable situations
5. I want to punch everyone (comes with the mood swings, but important to emphasize)
6. losing 2 weeks out of every month to period.
7. skin issues
yea. that's right. TWO WEEKS.
the week prior to the actual torture that is called period, I suffer from PMS.
Pre-menstrual syndrome.
that's what it stands for, I hope. I am too lazy to look it up.
And it also bothers me when people refer to PERIOD as PMS.
They are different!
Anyways, yea. During my PMS period, I am grouchy and my body starts giving out and gives up.
So, I guess I should take some comfort at the fact that I can predict when I will go through the torture week, but at the same time, it just seems unfair that I am suffering HALF THE YEAR.
Also, during the actual torture, my brain refuses to work, along with my body.
So, I am pretty much a bedridden, grumpy, pained, retarded BEAST that should not and does not want to interact with other people or things.
But seriously, people need to leave me the fuck alone.
However, ironically, something important ALWAYS come up when I am suffering.
For example, I am leaving for Vegas tmrw.
WHY? because my family wanted to go with dad for his business trip.
They obviously disregarded my plea and went ahead with the plan.
I am just praying at this point that advil and midol will miraculously make the pain go away (which sometimes isn't the case...).
Sitting in the car for 4 hours AND suffering from the unbearable heat of the desert seem REALLY unappealing during my period week.
I have about 10% interest in going to Vegas right now.
I've been many times before.
Call me ungrateful, but I seriously just want to rest at home and do nothing.
So, I should list good things about having period.
1. excuse for acting absolutely crazy and bitchy
2. my body refuses to eat, so I do tend to lose weight.
3. I get to appreciate the other half of the year.
I think that's about it.
Every month, I wish for a hysterectomy.
I'm, at this point, almost 70% sure that I don't want kids.
so... getting rid of the one thing that's been making me suffer seems rather appealing at the peak of my cramps.
Obviously, half joking and half desperately wishing for it to happen... :(
I envy those girls that are like.. yea my period is so short and blahblahblah.
STFU!
GAHHHHHH.
yes, there's the option of birth control pills.
But, I'm kinda iffy about messing with my hormones since I don't want to alter my body that way.
And taking pills everyday seems like a bitch.
I try to stay away from pills as much as possible; although it seems impossible to stay away from advil once in a while (I take gummy bear multivitamin like a child because I hate pills).
So, no on BC pills.
and also no to other forms of hormone things.. they kinda freak me out.
So, I just have to wait until I hit menopause (which comes with its own sorts of crazy fun things, I've heard).
Let me just bury myself in sorrow and pity,
Hayon
Probably.
But, is it an extremely relevant and ubiquitous part of girl's/women's lives?
Heck yes.
For me, it is the only thing that makes me so angry about being a girl (maybe other than giving birth, but that seems like you at least have the option to refuse).
I may have more things to be angry about, but I can't think of anything right now because I am currently suffering from cramps.
And along with the uncalled-for cramps, period just comes with other fun things.
1. forgetfulness
2. extreme mood swings that can range from jumping up and down in joy to crying my eyes out for no apparently reason to volcano eruption like rage
3. pain. everywhere. mostly in the abdominal areas and back
4. purely uncomfortable situations
5. I want to punch everyone (comes with the mood swings, but important to emphasize)
6. losing 2 weeks out of every month to period.
7. skin issues
yea. that's right. TWO WEEKS.
the week prior to the actual torture that is called period, I suffer from PMS.
Pre-menstrual syndrome.
that's what it stands for, I hope. I am too lazy to look it up.
And it also bothers me when people refer to PERIOD as PMS.
They are different!
Anyways, yea. During my PMS period, I am grouchy and my body starts giving out and gives up.
So, I guess I should take some comfort at the fact that I can predict when I will go through the torture week, but at the same time, it just seems unfair that I am suffering HALF THE YEAR.
Also, during the actual torture, my brain refuses to work, along with my body.
So, I am pretty much a bedridden, grumpy, pained, retarded BEAST that should not and does not want to interact with other people or things.
But seriously, people need to leave me the fuck alone.
However, ironically, something important ALWAYS come up when I am suffering.
For example, I am leaving for Vegas tmrw.
WHY? because my family wanted to go with dad for his business trip.
They obviously disregarded my plea and went ahead with the plan.
I am just praying at this point that advil and midol will miraculously make the pain go away (which sometimes isn't the case...).
Sitting in the car for 4 hours AND suffering from the unbearable heat of the desert seem REALLY unappealing during my period week.
I have about 10% interest in going to Vegas right now.
I've been many times before.
Call me ungrateful, but I seriously just want to rest at home and do nothing.
So, I should list good things about having period.
1. excuse for acting absolutely crazy and bitchy
2. my body refuses to eat, so I do tend to lose weight.
3. I get to appreciate the other half of the year.
I think that's about it.
Every month, I wish for a hysterectomy.
I'm, at this point, almost 70% sure that I don't want kids.
so... getting rid of the one thing that's been making me suffer seems rather appealing at the peak of my cramps.
Obviously, half joking and half desperately wishing for it to happen... :(
I envy those girls that are like.. yea my period is so short and blahblahblah.
STFU!
GAHHHHHH.
yes, there's the option of birth control pills.
But, I'm kinda iffy about messing with my hormones since I don't want to alter my body that way.
And taking pills everyday seems like a bitch.
I try to stay away from pills as much as possible; although it seems impossible to stay away from advil once in a while (I take gummy bear multivitamin like a child because I hate pills).
So, no on BC pills.
and also no to other forms of hormone things.. they kinda freak me out.
So, I just have to wait until I hit menopause (which comes with its own sorts of crazy fun things, I've heard).
Let me just bury myself in sorrow and pity,
Hayon
6.5.12
OFD #1: Actually punch someone in the face
OFD: Only For Dreaming.
Yes, this blog is about actually doing things and not pushing things off. BUT, i'm also going to start a list that I just will not be able to do, but REALLY want to.
don't we all wish that sometimes we can just PUNCH someone in the face when they are being extra annoying? That fine line of annoying and tolerable has been crossed?
I probably feel this one too many times, but sometimes people just need to know that they are being "punchable."
HOWEVER, it is illegal to just punch people in the face (unless it's a fight that's being televised.. ugh so archaic. can I just express my dislike for MMA? my bf looooooves it. I, on the contrary to this post lol, dislike violence very much).
ALSO, I really hate physical violence. I avoid watching war-related, gangster/mafia-related movies, except for medieval stuff (but even then it's mostly just LOTR. I love LOTR).
AND, it would hurt ME to punch someone.. and I hate inflicting pain onto myself (sounds like common sense, but you would be surprised how many people don't mind pain.. like getting actual tattoos.. REALLY? I saw my friend getting it once, and it looked pretty damn painful and bloody).
But, seriously, sometimes I just really wish I can actually punch the annoying person in the face.
That's all,
Hayon
P.S. I am probably PMSing, and I have 2 finals on Monday that I have not been studying for even though I was "studying." UGH LIFE! yes yes some people have it harder, but being a selfish biatch that I am right now, I just cannot think of other people's suffering as much as my own. definitely first world problem. :( I will care extra next week when I am free from education!
Yes, this blog is about actually doing things and not pushing things off. BUT, i'm also going to start a list that I just will not be able to do, but REALLY want to.
don't we all wish that sometimes we can just PUNCH someone in the face when they are being extra annoying? That fine line of annoying and tolerable has been crossed?
I probably feel this one too many times, but sometimes people just need to know that they are being "punchable."
HOWEVER, it is illegal to just punch people in the face (unless it's a fight that's being televised.. ugh so archaic. can I just express my dislike for MMA? my bf looooooves it. I, on the contrary to this post lol, dislike violence very much).
ALSO, I really hate physical violence. I avoid watching war-related, gangster/mafia-related movies, except for medieval stuff (but even then it's mostly just LOTR. I love LOTR).
AND, it would hurt ME to punch someone.. and I hate inflicting pain onto myself (sounds like common sense, but you would be surprised how many people don't mind pain.. like getting actual tattoos.. REALLY? I saw my friend getting it once, and it looked pretty damn painful and bloody).
But, seriously, sometimes I just really wish I can actually punch the annoying person in the face.
That's all,
Hayon
P.S. I am probably PMSing, and I have 2 finals on Monday that I have not been studying for even though I was "studying." UGH LIFE! yes yes some people have it harder, but being a selfish biatch that I am right now, I just cannot think of other people's suffering as much as my own. definitely first world problem. :( I will care extra next week when I am free from education!
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