Long Hiatus

So, my last post was last year March! hahaha

#fail.

So much has changed and I am so much more tired and ready to BE MY OWN BOSS!

As much as I appreciate structure and making a difference in a company, I truly deeply want to be in control of my life. As I get older, my happiness mostly stems from the ability to be myself. The self-conscious, approval-seeking little me still lives. But, honestly, I think I've kinda ignored her for the most part. Partly from being exhausted from commuting to LA from OC and just working and not sleeping well. Partly from just growing older and gaining somewhat of maturity.

I will unashamedly admit that a big part of my desperate wish to gain control of my life is to set my own work schedule. I am relatively lucky right now to have somewhat of a flexible work schedule. But, I want that 4 hour work week thing. I want to be able to travel whenever wherever (which also means financial freedom).

Another reason is to really taste the fruit of my labor. Working for a boss or a company just doesn't quite give me the same satisfaction. I selfishly wish for the day when I can support myself (paying rent, buying yummy food, traveling) through my projects.

Besides Spirit Ink, I'm starting another Education Tech project with friends, while I work part-time doing Marketing for a Startup, part-time tutoring, commuting 2-3 hours a day. And I will be collaborating with my best friend on a Advice blog for early twenties professionals. BF carefully suggests that I am spreading myself too thin, to which I obviously scream "DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO!!!" unreasonably. I do agree silently, but YOLO AMIRITE?

k GOTTA GO BE BUSY AND MAKING SOMETHING OUT OF MYSELF (SO I TELL MYSELF).

Done: Chocolate cupcakes with PeanutButter Frosting

It's been a crazy couple of weeks, and I really haven't had the time or the energy OR the material to even write about.

But, yesterday, I woke up earlier than my usual morning time on Sunday. So, I decided to bake some cupcakes since I haven't in a while. And my boyfriend's sisters have been asking for them for a while.

And I got a new camera! yay.

I don't really have a recipe for this.

Chocolate cake is the only cake that I prefer cake mix.
It's so easy and the cake mixes tend to be really good.
Not too sticky or too sweet.
I try to get the dark chocolate ones since they are obviously less sweet.

As for the frosting, I never buy the pre made frosting from the market.
They are just gross to me.

I usually don't use recipe for the frosting.
For this particular cupcakes, I just eyeballed everything.

1 + 1/2 stick of unsalted butter that I melted in the microwave for 10 seconds.
Then, I hand-whip it to make fluffy.

6 spoonful of peanut butter (creamy organic peanut butter)
I just went by the taste of it. I added more when I thought the frosting could be more peanut-y.
Then, I just hand-whipped it some more until the whole thing was one color.

When it comes to powdered sugar, I also just eyeball it.
I just add some until it's not so buttery.
I try to make it not so sickeningly sweet.

And that's it!

Need: The Radical Self-Love Project

I think everyone at one point suffers from the absolute self loathing that's completely unwarranted and undeserved.

I doubt myself constantly.
 I don't love myself sometimes.
Even though I know I am capable of great things and deserve the best, I can't convince myself of that fact sometimes.

I think this project is amazing and so important.

I love TED talks. I think I'm going to try to actually do what she's talking about.

Update

It's been like almost 2 weeks since I clicked that little favorite button to come to the blog.

So update:

1. Completely failed the raw food diet. Why? because I actually enjoy eating real food. Not rabbit food. What the hell was I THINKING? But, I did lose weight.. PURELY FROM NOT EATING ENOUGH.

2. My business with my bff, SPIRIT INK, is actually SELLING THINGS! exciting. However, that means I am stressed to the max due to a sudden increase in work load.

3. Got a job at BeautyChoice. well, I got my old job back. lol which is also adding to my stress load.

4. Also, with #2,3, I didn't get to do much fun things. However, right before all these things started, I went to Napa with the bff and bf. (: will post soon.

Anyhoos. that's all, I think.

Hayon

Goal: Raw Food diet for a week

Yea I know. What the fuck am I thinking, right?

But, I just went on a road trip to Napa with my bestie and bf.. meaning we ate a lot of disgustingly delicious and VERY unhealthy food, mostly consisting of junk food and grossness.

Obviously, my body is rebelling against my reckless behavior.

In order to find somewhat of a healthy lifestyle, we all decided (probably in the midst of travel euphoria or exhaustion..) that we should go on the raw food diet.

I mean I love vegetable and fruit. However, I like my veggies cooked. And I really like my noodles. AND I am so used to eating or cooking with processed food.

This is going to be hard, and I will regret it, probably by the end of this post.

Scratch that.. I am pretty doubtful already.

We shall see how I do.
Goal is to finish it in one piece, mentally and physically; and I want to record my progress.

I should have gone grocery shopping to prepare for it, but my lazy ass refused to get out of the house today, other than for the Corner Bakery pickup for breakfast. lol.

Hopefully, with this diet, I will lose weight and be healthy.

We set a couple of rules such as no canned food, no soy sauce or hot sauce, strict 'raw food' instead of low temp food diet.

we shall see what happens.
I'm nervous.

Unhealthy,

Hayon

Done: Have a photoshoot

So, I have this business that I started with my best friends.

Spirit Ink

We sell a grown up version of temporary tattoos that are hip and chic!

And for the website and our business blog, Jenn and I decided to have a photoshoot.
fun fun fun!

I've been wanting to take some pretty pictures, and we really needed to get some pictures of the tattoos that can showcase them.

Please support our business!!!

Entrepreneur,

Hayon

Done: Peace Cupcakes with Brown Sugar Cream Cheese Frosting

I found a recipe a longggggg time ago that I've bookmarked and forgotten about and just found!

Since it is summer, peace seemed like the perfect fruit to make into delicious cupcakes.

This is the LINK to the recipe, if you are interested.

The cupcakes turned out amazing!
Dana helped me with them and took some home for her bro's bday. (:

I haven't baked cupcakes in a while, so it was fun and rather impromptu.

Yummy,

Hayon

Done: Date with Mom!

So, I thought it would be fun to spend a day in LA with mom since she hasn't seen a lot of LA.

Our original plan was to go to LACMA, but I thought the Getty might be more fun since we both enjoy classical art more than modern art.

We started the day with lunch at Jitlada.
I've never been before, but I heard that it's one of the best Thai food ever!

I realized that they specialize in Southern Thai food. I have never had Southern Thai food before, but from my experience from Jitlada, it is effing spicy.

Morning Glory Salad

Jungle Pork Rib Curry (or something like that..)

The Morning Glory Salad with Shrimp was delicious!!! Tangy and Sweet. I don't usually like a lot of fried things in my food, but with the dressing and the shrimp, the salad was amazing!!

But, everything went south when the Curry came out. OH MY GOD.
IT IS THE SALTIEST AND THE SPICIEST FOOD I HAVE EVER SEEN IN MY LIFE.
My tongue was numb and hands started tingling. Finished my cup of water.
Same reaction from Mom.
We had one scoop full and were done.
I mean it was strangely addicting in the end though...

We took most of it home and cooked it with more veggies and meat to make it edible.

Problems other than the spiciness:
1. took forever to get the food.
2. small restaurant
3. yucky smell
4. THEY CHARGE FOR RICE!

But, I want to go back..
lol

Then, to soothe our poor mouths, I decided to take her to Urth Caffe, one of my favorite places!

We went to the one in Beverly Hills and ended up walking a mile overall to get the coffee and come back lol. Because I miss calculated how far it was from the parking lot... hahaha
It was interesting walking there and back, and paid a visit to Anthropologie!
Not too bad!

I got my usual green tea latte, and my mom got the spanish latte.
(:
YUMS

Then, went to the Getty!

 My favorite artist & one of my favorite paintings <3

Beautiful day there.
We walked a lot!
We really enjoyed it (:

After we were done, we decided to get dinner near the Grove.
Since we've eaten at the Grove before, I decided that Little Next Door would be great!
Cute little bistro style.

 We found a parking spot relatively easily haha.

Ordered a calamari salad and the mussel entree.
DELICIOUS!

Then we drove back and stopped by a Korean market to shop for groceries.

It was a really fun day (:

I want to do it again, and maybe my broho and dad can come along too!

FUNFUNFUN,

Hayon

About me: Tall

I am quite tall for a girl.

To be exact, I am 5' 8.75".

So, practically 5' 9''.

I used to hate it growing up. I stood out. I looked like a giant. I was already feeling awkward, and the height didn't help. It was weird with boys since so surprisingly many of my guy friends are either as tall as me or slightly shorter. People always commented on my height. I didn't feel delicate or girly.

All of these things did not help during puberty. lol.

However, now I love it.

It separates me from the rest of tiny Asian girls. I stand out! My legs are long. Clothes don't look awkward on me. I don't feel like a little girl. And I have a little more room to eat since I'm a giant anyways and have a bit more room to spare. And since I have began to lose weight, I love how my clothes fit on me, and on good days, I feel like a JC Penny model lol. And now I just wear heels if I want to wear them, and do not give a fuck about how people may think i'm a godzilla.

Obviously, it's not my physical appearance that  changed.
I feel more comfortable in my skin as I grow up.
I still have more internal things to work out to really remember what makes me beautiful and that I am beautiful no matter what.

But, I no longer hunch and slouch in an effort to make myself look a bit smaller (which had the affect of making me look like a hunchback.. not attractive). I no longer look at other petite girls, just wishing that I could shrink somehow. I stretch regularly to let my body grow or whatever it wants to do (even though I doubt that I'd be growing at this point).

I'm proud and thankful that I am who I am and I look as I do.
Of course, there are so many things I still would love to wave a magic wand and change about myself physically. However, that doesn't mean i'm going to recklessly get plastic surgeries or go cry to myself.
Everything in moderation. lol
I'm not too proud or resentful.

I'm just glad to be me.

I'm glad that I'm the only me.

Content,

Hayon

Fun: The Laugh Factory

I know I haven't updated in a while.
Partly out of pure laziness and partly out because I haven't had access to my laptop.

But I ended up going to the Laugh Factory while I was on my short blog absence.

It was my first time going, and there was a discount for students with valid IDs.
Mine is technically not in use anymore, I suppose lol, nor am I a student anymore, but wthell.
It was 10 bucks cheaper, and for an unemployed recent graduate, 10 bucks is a lot!

Honestly, I wasn't even sure if I wanted to go since I have my reservations about going out in LA at night due to the shadiness that takes place all the time in LA and parking's a bitch.
However, I didn't have much to write on this blog to make my life seem awfully more interesting that it actually is, so I figured why not.

I didn't even look at the lineup before going, nor did I care much lol.

We ended up sitting front row on the side, as you can tell by my pictures lol. We were kind of concerned that we'd get picked on, but that didn't happen since nobody looks to the side anyways lol.

This was the lineup:

Pardis Parker (Combat Hospital)
Eddie Ifft (Jim Jefferies & Eddie Ifft's Talkin' Shit)
Iliza Shlesinger (Excused)
Neal Brennan (Chappelle's Show)
Chris D'Elia (Whitney)

 

Oh, and Dane Cook was there. I only knew of him from that crappy movie he filmed a long time ago, where he is a douche bag, and my friend used to love him?
I don't know much about him, but I always thought he looked a bit douchy hahaha.

I also got excited over Chris D'Elia since I actually watch Whitney and love his character on the show.

Overall, Eddie Ifft was my favorite. He was completely inappropriate. I think one of his jokes was about how he hates babies on the plane. He suggested that we throw them off the plane with a parachute because he believes giving everyone a chance for survival lol.

And some other completely unhinged jokes that made me crack up.

Pardis Parker was quite funny too.
So was Iliza Shlesginger. She's really pretty! And at the end, she brought up her dog and sang Sarah Mclachlan, mocking ASPCA's commercial lol. But her dog was freakin adorable.

But, there were some odd things about the last two comics, Neal and Chris.
Dane Cook wasn't in the lineup, but I heard that he frequently bumps other comics at the Laugh Factory since he does have the star power and I guess he likes performing there? So, I guess Neal and Chris were not happy about it. I mean I would be kinda annoyed, too, if a douche bag came and pushed me to later spots.
Oh, Dane Cook was aiiiight. there were some dumb people in the crowd that kept making comments and he made fun of them, which was awkward and kinda funny.

Anyways, I was just observing Neal and Chris when they weren't performing, and they just looked so unhappy. Maybe it's nothing weird to some people, but how can you or should you make other people laugh when you are so unhappy? Perhaps they were just pissed about getting bumped back.

Then, another funny thing. Chris was talking about his annoying ex with alchy tendencies. And I noticed that he came with these two very modelesque girls, and played with one girl's hair and very obviously flirting with her. So, I figured they are going home together or dating or whatever. So, I watched her while he was talking about his ex, and she had no evidence of humor or amusement on her face lol. I mean the girl was laughing at his other jokes. I just thought it was funny.

So that was my experience at the Laugh Factory.
One annoying thing was that they have a 2 drink minimum, and their drinks are pricey. blech.

Laughed,

Hayon

Movie: The Seven Year Itch

As much as I love Marilyn Monroe, I really haven't been exposed to her movies.

Before The Seven Year Itch, I've only seen Let's Make Love and All About Eve (in which she's not even a major character).

But, I do love her! I think she's the perfect combination of innocent and sultry.
Speaking of, I think the most attractive quality is that mixture of adorable and sexy. I suppose that whole "girl next door" concept is similar to this theory.

Anyways, I usually stay away from older movies (I know I know. sue me).
But, recently, I've been running out of movies to watch on Netflix that interested me. So, I figured, Why not a Marilyn Monroe movie?

In this particular film, she is literally the girl next door.
It's about a man who has been married for seven years, going through what is known as 'the seven year itch,' during which spouses lose interest in each other (well, men...).

Half the movie consists of the man letting his vivid imagination go wild with paranoia from being completely infatuated with the girl next door, Marilyn Monroe, while his wife and son are away on vacation in Maine.

This movie has that most famous Marilyn Monroe moment of her standing on an air vent with that beautiful white halter dress as the skirt flows wildly, exposing her legs.

Even though she is that typical dumb blonde in this movie with such naivete, Marilyn Monroe has that charm that make every man fall madly in love her.

It's such a tragedy that she passed away so young. But, at the same time, would she have been happy growing old and possibly losing that magnetism as time passes as the public loses interest and moves onto the next new thing?

Pondering,

Hayon

OFD: Not take the high road

So, I used to work for this online beauty retailer company that I will not name.
They had a financial hiccup, so the boss asked me to stop working until they can pay me what I am owed, a bit less than a 1000 bucks.

And that was in April.

I still haven't been paid!

And since I was promised a position and did (not to toot my own horn here, but) a GREAT JOB!
goddammmit, I did not look for another job.

And they have avoided my phone calls and emails, in which I am quite nice and polite.
WTF?

UGH.

Anyways, I am pissed and almost broke. I'd be really effing broke if it weren't for my loving parents lol.. thanks mom & dad!

So, I filed a wage claim.
My dad was like.. shouldn't you sue them or something?
I said no.. that doesn't seem right.

Well, I know I'm not going to do anything that's drastic or hurtful to the company or my former boss.
Why? because I am a wuss, and I believe in Karma so I try to steer away from hurting other people even if the same has been done to me.

But, if I lived in a world where I didn't have to suffer the consequences of my actions, I would be ruining the damn company somehow.

But, I don't know how nor do I want to take the time to come up with ways to fuck them over.

BUT, it would be nice to get back at people who made me suffer.
For once, I would like to not take the high road and just stoop down to the level of my enemies!

Unfortunately, I live in a world where there are consequences, and I am staying away from trashing the company.
Honestly, I just want my money and move on.

Defeated?

Hayon

Done: Meet the parents

After dating for 3 1/2 yrs, it finally happened! I met THE PARENTS of the bf.

It was his graduation, and I returned the favor and went to his grad, as he came to mine.

I made him a lei and errrthing. I should have taken a picture, but got lazy.
Anyhoos, I met them. The whole family actually. hahahaha

Of course, being the dummy (the nicest insult I can think of to describe him in this situation) that he is, he did not tell his sisters and told his dad the day of.

Imagine the awkwardness. lol.

I'm not that awkward usually, but it was a weird situation when I finally met them, especially since he was participating in his graduation, thus not present when I met them! ISNT THAT GREAT? lol

His mom knew, and I had already met his cousins; but, it was weird lol.

Then, I awkwardly introduced myself. AND THEN, after a while, I asked his sister, sooooo he didn't tell you I was coming huh.. hahahaha and she said, no he didn't, and I was really confused when I first saw you. HAHA.

oh god.

And then, he walked, and the ceremony ended surprisingly quickly since it was a major only ceremony (even though my satellite ceremony ran WAY TOO EFFING LONG).

And I told him, introduce me more formally, and thank you for making this situation really awkward for me. ha. ha.

And he did. And it was still kinda weird, but fine at the same time.

took pictures and went to roscoes and had chicken and waffle!

His family was really nice, and I am grateful to have finally met them.

And even though I know it took a lot for him to bring me to meet his fam, I still do not approve of the way he went about it. I find it quite inconsiderate of him, but he apologized and I'll get over it.

This is a post that makes me appreciate that people don't really read my blog. HAHA
It's more for my benefit of thinking out loud, rather than recording a monumental moment.

Though sometimes I feel like I've been through a lot and learned a lot, there are still so many things I am completely new at and feel uncomfortable about. Today was one of those days.

I never really got nervous about meeting new people and interacting, but since his family is important, I was concerned and felt awkward.
It must have drained me since I was exhausted when I came home and napped for a while right after. It also could have been due to the fact that the ceremony was at 10 AM, and the bf picked me up at like 8. WAY TOO EARLY.

But regardless of everything and how things went today, this meeting made things more real? I mean obviously the relationship is real, and I do love being in it. Also, we've talked about our future together and what not, and never really felt awkward about "the talk." But, the whole union of two families and so on and so forth seemed too soon? I am not at all concerned about just the two of us. However, I am extremely concerned about the possibility of joining our two COMPLETELY different families together, and the possible disaster and awkwardness the union may bring forth.
Seems overall rather unpleasant.
Something everyone wants to avoid.
Rather problematic.

This issue obviously isn't the only problem we have. It also isn't "our" problem; most couples experience similar issues regarding families.
But, it's still annoying to have to deal with it.

Relationships, romantic or platonic, are hard to begin with. But, add external issues that are beyond our controls. What do you end up with? A test of strength and commitment?

Why can't we all just get the fuck along?
And why are so many things "taboo" and "wrong"?
and on this note, growing up really blows.

Forever young?

Hayon 

Movie a day: Ballerina

Lately, I've been obsessed with ballet.

I don't know why. I just love it. I love how graceful ballerinas look.
How beautiful they are.
How delicate, yet powerful they dance.

I wish I could be one. But with my limited physicality and so many other things, that's pretty far-fetched.
So, I've been watching youtube videos of ballerinas, Breaking Pointe, and I'm planning on watching the Bunheads (I think that's what its called?).
And of course, I clicked this movie without hesitating when I saw it on Netflix.

This documentary follows five Russian ballerinas, backstage & onstage.
Three of them are already prima ballerinas, meaning that they are at the top and have respect and prestige.
Two are on their way to the top.
Just the sheer amount of work that goes into ballets is insane.
They look so effortless and graceful, but they are sweating and panting by the end of it.

I don't think I can ever have that much self-discipline and motivation.
These dancers must have so much passion and love for their art.
It's really inspiring.

I think I'll take some ballet classes. that'll be my next on the "fun list"!

Inspired,

Hayon

song of the day: Alicia Keys - Unthinkable cover by Daniela Andrade

I mean I actually haven't heard the original, but I love this girl's voice. She sounds so ethereal. just lovely.

About me: terrible titles

I don't know if it's noticeable or important, but I am terrible with titles.

I find that it's often easier to write the thesis statement than it is to write the title.

The title, to me, should be witty but not smartass (unless intentionally), precise but informative, relevant but not too in-depth.

does that make sense?

So, my titles are pretty terrible.
They are not witty nor precise.
It's more what you see is what you get kinda titles.

I will always be bad at coming up with decent titles. lol
OH WELL.

cest la vie,

Hayon

Movie a day: The Thief and the Cobbler

This movie pretty much defined my childhood. hahaha.

Even though I was in Korea when I was little, somehow my parents acquired this lovely movie in good old VHS. I watched the movie over and over again.

It's kind of like Aladdin, but not particularly.
Just the whole concept of princess and the pauper thing is similar, but other than that it's different.

There are multiple versions of this movie. The one I had in Korea was the original version, and the one I watched on Netflix (bless you netflix.. just when I was ready to end subscription, you pull this stunt..) is the most recent one. They are a bit different, but doesn't matter. I was just so excited to find it. When we moved to US, I guess we left it behind, and I always felt so sad about that.

My fav. I am a sucker for duets, and I just love this song. I always have.

But, watching this movie again, I am pretty convinced that this movie was made by people who were on something because the graphics are pretty damn trippy.

Anyways, I'll be watching this movie pretty frequently. hahahaha.

Missing my childhood,

Hayon

Fun: Put tiles on the family room

So, my house's current floor is of that fake wood stuff.
It's gotten really annoying since my dog misses her pee pad one too many times, and the flooring has rebelled.

My mom is quite unhappy about that turn of events lol.

So we were just talking one night, and we kinda just yelled out, omg we should just change the floor ourselves.

YEA RIP THE WOOD STUFF AND PUT IN TILES!

I HAVE SO MUCH TIME! WE SHOULD DO IT!

YEAAAAAAA.

that's pretty much how the conversation went between my mom and me lol.

So, I want to do it. why the heck not??????
granted, my mom was drinking beer.. but she wasn't even close to being affected... so...?

we just have to convince my dad hahahaha

Hayon the builder?

Followup: Hug with lamy!

Well, I actually don't have the actual hug picture since it's on my hard drive (courtesy of Jenn, btw).

But, here's my graduation photo with him. I couldn't contain my excitement HAHA.

I look quite shiny.. HAHA whatever. And for my lack of hand situation... I was too excited about getting a hug that I kinda forgot what to do with it.. so, my hand is hidden.

But, yeaaaaaaa.

soooo happy,

Hayon

Done: Dog food baking

I've been meaning to bake my dog treats because she is the most adorable puppy (well, not really a puppy, but always a baby in my eyes <3 ).

Since I'm trying to feed her with the good stuff these days because I'm home all the time, I was excited to bake her some healthy treats.

I found A LOT of recipes, but I chose this one because it sounded relatively simple to make (which was a mistake since it took me like.. 3 hours to complete the whole process from getting all the ingredients mixed to cooling.)

Here's the recipe
Or I just copy and pasted it down below for my convenience, in case I decide to make again.


Bachelor Dog Treats
From: Sherry Yard.
Note: Yard suggests small cookie cutters such as this 3-inch dog bone, but you can use larger cutters and bake the cookies a few minutes longer. She also notes that her dog has a highly trained palette and prefers Wildflower honey (She's joking, of course; there is all of 1 tablespoon of honey in these cookies.).
Yield: About 3 dozen small cookies
4 eggs, divided (2 for the dough, 2 for the wash)
1 ounce vegetable oil
1 tablespoon honey
8 ounces chicken stock
10 ounces whole wheat flour
5 ounces all purpose flour
3 ounces cornmeal
1 cup peanut butter

1. Preheat the oven to 325 degrees. In a large bowl, whisk together two of the eggs, the oil and honey. Whisk in the chicken stock.
2. In the bowl of a stand mixer fitted with the paddle attachment, combine the whole wheat flour, AP flour and cornmeal. With the mixer on medium speed, slowly pour in the chicken stock mixture, then add the peanut butter. Mix until the dough comes together, about 1 minute.
3. Divide the dough in half. Roll out each ball of dough approximately ½ inch thick. Cut into desired shapes using small (3 to 4-inch) cookie cutters. Place on baking sheets sprayed with cooking oil.
4. Whisk the remaining two eggs and brush the egg wash lightly over the cookies. Allow to dry for 10 minutes and brush with the egg wash a second time (the second wash is optional, but gives the cookies a darker brown color). Bake until golden brown, about 15 minutes, depending on the size of the cookies.


Since I didn't have a bone cookie cutter, I just stuck with the ones I had at home.

The result:

Since I knew what was in this, I decided to take a lick lol. It honestly didn't taste like much...
But, Milkie seems to love it!

And because these don't have preservatives or anything like that, I kept them in the refrigerator. The only downside is that the treats kinda got soggy since the cookies weren't super hard to begin with anyways.

I'm going to tryout more recipes soon! (:

dog whisperer,

Hayon